Next chapter: Saturday, 4th September

Leave nothing to chance, for it is the enemy.   

Have you ever felt as though the world is grey, lacking in colour?  As though the people around you are simply drones in a never-ending cycle?  In this modern age, I experience this consistently.   I find that the world is void and empty, lacking anything interesting.   

I don’t know how long I have felt like this, but since it started, everything that once was of interest to me is hard to enjoy.  It’s not as though I can’t find things amusing or laugh, but the once never-ending urge to continue watching is gone.  It is as though the person I am now, is not the person I once was.   

And yet, I still continue on trying.   For the world shouldn’t be so bleak.   The world is full of fascinating things that could entertain others, but for me, the thought that plagues me is ‘so what?’  If it weren’t so, surely I would be in a better place right now.  Instead, I sit here, staring at a wall.  Whose wall is it, though?   Is it the physical wall of the building?   A metaphorical wall?   The walls I put up to push people away?   Or is it something more?  

I do not wish for the world to be grey.   No, in my eyes, the world should be full of colour.   The places we go, the people we see, the things we do – all of them should be bright and wonderful.   Yet, if that’s the case, why is it all I can see is a lack of it.   The people in front of me, dull.   The places I go, arid.   The things I do, monotonous.   

I wonder if there is a way to change this.  Is there a way to change this empty void inside of me?   Is there a god who can help me?   Or am I to continue on like this, devoid of any real emotion?   It’s not a fun way to exist, at all.  

But anyway, that’s how I feel.   It’s probably not how you feel, but can you understand?   That my actions, repetitive as they are, are a way to deal with this reality.  

—— 

While lost in my thoughts, the doorbell rang.  

“Just one sec.”  

I don’t really have many people who will visit, so it’s probably nothing important.   I get up to open the door, and when it finally creaks open… 

“Hi there!  Could I interest you in-” 

A young, black haired man in a suit started to perform his spiel.  Before he could get any further, I put my hand up and interrupted him immediately.  

“Let me stop you right there.   I am unable to buy anything, as I am unable to afford it.  I will not donate to charity, as I am pretty much apathetic.  And I will not convert to a religion, as I care not if I go to heaven or hell.”   

The man, looking startled, just walked away, muttering under his breath.   

I closed the door, and headed back to the couch, preparing to stare at the white wall once more.  But as I approached the couch, a woman in a white dress began to appear.   

“So, the world is dull, is it?”  

“…” 

“What, don’t want to speak your edginess out loud?   Is it embarrassing?”  

“…yeah.”  

The woman laughs, throwing her head back.   Then continues,

“Well, don’t let that bother you.  I don’t really care.  What I’m here for is, do you believe in magic?”  

Given I just saw her phase into existence, I’m going to go with probably.   Unless there’s some super futuristic technology I haven’t heard about.   

So, my name is Ars.  

And this is the story of how I learned magic to colour the world.