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One thousand.

One, a reason to betray.
Two, a reason to belay.
Three, a reason to delay.
Four, a reason to just pray.

Five, a person walking slow.
Six, a person with skin aglow.
Seven, rocking to and fro.
Eight, a demon from down below.

Nine, a struggle to go on.
Ten, I can think of none.
Eleven, I’ve given up.
One thousand, Yeah, that’s enough.

Staying motivated for anything is hard. Whether it be writing, learning or simply enjoying a game, the ability to focus on one thing and one thing alone is difficult. When did this become the norm? Why is it I can’t spend more than a few days trying to fix the problems I have?

I need money, I need food. I need time. I need to take care of myself. There are things I need to do yet don’t do them. It is as though I torture myself accidentally? If I were good, I’d post daily. Yet, I can’t seem to bring myself to write every day. I can’t bring myself to change.

The poem above is a representation of the desire to do something, then skipping over lazily until the end. We can’t do that in real life. If we want to get to the result, we have to take the journey. If we don’t take the journey, we’ll never end up at the end. We’ll always stay at the beginning.

It’s time for this to stop. I must take the journey, or else I’ll never reach the end.


The Problem of ‘So Many Things’

Hi guys,

So recently I’ve been thinking (A dangerous past time, I know), but I’ve come to a conclusion that I lack a vital skill for education and work. That is, the skill of self-discipline. I am privileged to own many things, have access to internet (even if it is Australia’s ADSL2…), but it is possible that having access to these things is one of the problems causing me to lack the ability to control myself to an extent.

That is, due to having so many things to do, I don’t need to do a certain thing to entertain my brain. I can simply go, ‘huh, I’m no longer interested in this. Why don’t I do that instead. And therein lies the problem. With the ability to avoid something, without the skill of self-discipline, you will avoid it. There’s a mechanism working in the brain that does this, I am fairly sure but this isn’t an essay that requires references (though I may write something along those lines in the future).

So I am going to have to think long and hard about how to train myself to have this skill. I hope you appreciate this post.